Rebecca Rickwood, a 15-year-old student from Cambridge, has been crowned the Microsoft Excel world champion, the BBC reports.
Spreadsheet whizz Rebecca beat 78 rival students in the final round, in a competition that saw 228,000 hopefuls competing for the title. For her troubles she was awarded $5,000, or about £3,000.
We didn't know competitive spreadsheet construction was a thing, but we were fools -- the brain-melting test involves performing timed challenges, demonstrating that they possess the Excel skills to pay the bills, presumably without using Clippy.
Seeing as we can't even make Excel do that maths thing so it adds up numbers in a column, we can only tip our collective hat to Rebecca, who told the Beeb, "I heard my name read out in first place and I just couldn't believe it. I'm ecstatic, I just can't believe I won and now I'm world champion. It's a day I'll never forget."
Rebecca, who attends a specialist maths and computing secondary school, scored a perfect 100 per cent in the world championship challenge. She perfected her spreadsheet chops during lunch-breaks and after school.
We suspect the mental agility required to become Excel world champion would also equip you for world domination, or hacking computers using your mind. Rebecca, you've done our nation proud, and we stand in your shadow.