Apple SNUBS super soar-away SUN in Page 3 stunner STORM!

By Rich Trenholm on 06 May 2009, 3:53pm

Apple has sensationally BLASTED your super soar-away SUN in a row over Page 3 stunners like Essex lovely Krystal, 24, pictured, from Essex.

Apple BLOCKED the Newspaper(s) application, which lets you read the Sun and 50 other newspapers that aren't as good because they don't have as many boobs in them (if you don't count the Mirror's columnists). Now your superjacent solar Sun has been AXED from the app, iPhone can read the Guardian, Mirror and Times, as well as the New York Times, Washington Post, Le Monde, Bild Zeitung, the Moscow Times and the China People's Daily -- which probably knows a thing or two about censorship.

JUBBLIES

In a move that shows BLATANT disrespect to millions of hardworking Brits, Apple BRANDED Page 3 as "OBSCENE". Outraged Leonard Fillkins, a builder from Great Fryupdale, captured the mood of the nation when he SLAMMED Jobs' mob: "What's more natural than a pair of great big bouncy knockers? Cr-apple, more like!"

RUMPO

Peter Lickfold, MP for Horsey Windpump (East) BACKS the Sun: "Firm supple young breasts are an essential part of the daily routine for every right-thinking Briton. It's not like you see any rumpo."

MADNESS

Hermione Tumby-Woodside, of Piddlehinton, FUMED: "This is just another example of rip-off Britain. It's political correctness gone mad. What's an iPhone?"

DIRTY SOD

Meanwhile, heavy metal WEIRDO Trent Reznor of goth band Nine Inch Nails has had his SICK app banned for peddling FILTH to KIDDIES by linking to a song in which he uses curse words. Quite right too! Ban this filthy sick filth!