'Ello 'ello 'ello... Government guvnors and business bosses met behind closed doors in London this week for a conference on protecting the Internet. We've recreated that discussion, except with more jokes and less David Cameron.
With hacking, cybercrime and even cyberwarfare on the rise, governments and online businesses are keen to come to an international consensus on the Web. But how far should we go? Should we keep the Internet free, or does it need policing?
We also ask how much the Internet weighs, boggle at Angry Birds' latest milestone, and have our minds blown by Japanese plans for a spare Tokyo. Yes, at a site 300 miles west of Tokyo the Japanese want to build the Integrated Resort, Tourism, Business and Backup City. We know it's always a good idea to back up, but this is ridiculous.
And we ponder the bold new direction promised by hotly-anticipated new game Grand Theft Auto 5. Will GTA V be a comedy of manners? A puzzle game involving cross flying animals? Nah, we suspect it'll involve gunning down whores.
We've also picked our personal favourite bits of kits from the week. The Motorola Xoom 2 and Xoom 2 Media Edition are two new Android tablets, while GarageBand is Apple's music software now shrunk into your pocket as an iPhone app. And our special guest, video producer Drew, gets excited about the tiny GoPro Hero2 camera.
We answer your questions too, suggesting our favourite Android phones, crossing our fingers for a UK release for the Amazon Kindle Fire, and getting annoyed by the volume of adverts and people borrowing our tech.
Keep the feedback coming in the comments or on our Facebook page.