The 5C actually goes on sale a week today, 20 September, when you'll be able to pick one up from an Apple Store at 8am -- or save yourself a queue by going to pretty much any phone shop.
£469 bags you a 16GB model, while the more capacious 32GB version is £549. There's free delivery, and the choice of white, red, yellow, blue and lime green colours. The peculiar official cases -- the ones with the awkward holes in -- are available in the same range of hues, plus black, for an extra £25. The new Apple Care+ scheme, which replaces up to two broken phones over two years, is another £79.
If you want to trade in your old iPhone for credit, Apple has a recycling programme, but you'll realise much more value if you just sell it on eBay. Apple's official trade-in scheme just opened in the US, but is yet to reach ol' Blighty.
Apple's not doing pre-orders for the iPhone 5S (see update below), presumably because supply is harder to guarantee with so many new components -- two new chips, the flash, the camera, and all the fingerprint gubbins. You'll have to wait until the 20th for the new top-of-the-range phone, and head to a high street shop to guarantee getting your hands on one on the day.
Will you be queueing up on launch day? Is the 5S or the 5C better value? Are you going to mix and match colours with one of those daft cases? Show your true colours in the comments, or on our monochrome Facebook page.
Update: iPhone 5S online orders will start at midnight on 20 September, launch day, our sister site CNET News reports.