Welcome to The Assistant. Lord Sugar may be seeking a new Apprentice, but we're searching for something much more important: a new phone. A phone that can become a true assistant by answering your questions and fulfilling your every need -- all at just the sound of your voice.
We're pitting Apple against Android in the battle of the voice command apps. Which will hear those devastating final words: "You're fired!"
Deciding between these two contenders won't be easy, but we've got just the man for the job: nobody knows voice commands -- by which we mean shouting -- better than CNET UK's own cockerney barrow boy-turned-techology supremo Lord Trenholm.
He's a straight talker who says what he means and means what he says, and he needs a phone that understands you and gives it to you straight. No excuses, no fancy patter -- just results.
The stakes are high as our two contestants arrive in London to face Lord Trenholm. They'll be put through their paces with a series of tough tasks to see which has the voice-control chops to take their place in your pocket.
We'll test the S2 and 4S to the limits of their abilities and beyond, so you witness which voice control technology is worth laying down your wonga for. Will Vlingo come up trumps? Can Siri overcome its lack of UK information? Does Apple trump Android? For the love of all that's financially sound, who will be fired? Click play on the video to find out!
Oh, and don't forget to voice command your comments below, or on our Facebook page.