Rugby is a beastly game played by gentlemen, someone once said, so it's only fitting that English rugger enthusiasts pining for the imminent Rugby World Cup in New Zealand be treated to a gentleman's mobile. Enter the Alcatel One Touch 602 England Rugby edition.
The OT-602 dives into the scrum with a 2.4-inch resistive touchscreen and a 2-megapixel camera, then emerges, screaming up the wing with 3MB of internal memory and a touted 23 days of standby battery life.
Those extremely modest specs are compensated by a white back plate that's branded with the stirring red rose of our English lads, as well as two Rugby World Cup ringtones, including Swing Low, Sweet Chariot, and a wallpaper depicting drop-goal demon Jonny Wilkinson.
The whole lot comes in at £40, available on pay as you go from O2.
We'd be amazed if the phone itself turned out to be any cop, but it's really cheap, so if you absolutely must support the England team through the medium of mobile telephony, it might be worth a punt.
Plus, if England goes out after the first set of fixtures, you'll have something to hurl unceremoniously at the wall, weeping with rage as the screen shatters over your Jonny Wilkinson wallpaper, and Swing Low bleeps out one final, deformed rendition.
This isn't the first Alcatel mobile to come with special branding -- in March the nation gathered as one to celebrate the Royal Wedding with a Union Jack-branded blower that cost £15. That one had a wedding march ringtone too, but no Jonny.
Is this phone a drop goal or a forward pass? Pause, touch and engage in the comments section below, or on our Facebook wall.