Take a look around. If you're at home, you might see your significant other. If you're at work, you might have a photo to hand. Look into his or her eyes -- are those the eyes of a forgiving, technologically tolerant person? No, we didn't think so.
Don't get us wrong. Crave loves its other half more than anything on the planet, but when it comes to large, heat-producing equipment that can power large numbers of speakers, there's a limit to what we can get away with. The Onkyo TX-SR607 is, therefore, not something we expect to be allowed to buy anytime soon.
The reason the 607 isn't spouse-approved is that it comes with the new Dolby ProLogic IIz system, which allows not only 7.1 surround sound, but two additional speakers, at the front, which are mounted high up. This extra channel of sound is supposed to involve you more in the movie. We can't help think it's more likely to involve you in a sizeable domestic argument.
A demo we heard with the animated phobia-fest Ratatouille illustrated this by creeping us out even more than it did in normal surround sound. Falling rain did indeed seem higher up -- as did the hideous squeaking of those ghastly CG rats. Less horrific films, such as The Island -- okay, it's horrific, but in a different way -- also sounded amazing.
But none of that is going to persuade your dearest to have stereo speakers, a centre speaker, two high-mounted front speakers, a subwoofer (or two), two surround speakers and two rear surround speakers in their pretty living room. And while we think every home cinema system should consist of such a glorious setup, we just can't see it happening.
On the plus side, the Onkyo TX-SR607 can help tidy up your AV gear. Pop it in a cabinet with all your stuff, and run a single HDMI cable to your TV -- suddenly, domestic bliss. It can also accept inputs from iPods via Onkyo's new universal port -- something that will make dinner parties a roaring hit.
Best of all, it's not going to further damage your already badly cracked bank account, because it's only £500. We'll be conducting a review soon, once we've managed to persuade our other half to go for a spa day or something. So check out the photos of the thing you'll never be allowed -- and use the comments to lust over it.