The 30 dumbest videogame titles ever

By Nate Lanxon on 27 March 2008, 10:21am

7Pages

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Seriously, is this some kind of tax write-off?

Tech Romancer
Dreamcast - 1998

Premise: Tripped-out robots beat each other up in this sort-of-anime, sort-of-beat 'em up game.

Don't let the name fool you -- there are no hot robot-on-robot love scenes. Quite the opposite, actually. It's primarily a 3D fighter title with quaint story lines, but it scores points for suggesting that it's possible to seduce a machine.

Chemist Tycoon
PS2, PC - 2006

Premise: The job of the chemist is no longer confined to those with basic medical training and an ability to sell contraceptives with a straight face. In this instalment of the Tycoon franchise, you get to run a chemist's store. W00t!

It's hardly the most appealing Tycoon title in videogames history, and not one we'd rush out to buy. But if you want to spend your free time pretending to purvey branded pharmaceuticals, you go right ahead.

Yes Prime Minister
Commodore 64, Amstrad CPC, ZX Spectrum - 1987

Premise: Tie-in game from the popular BBC political comedy of the same name. You play as Prime Minister of the UK for a week.

Not exactly a gaming landmark, the Yes Prime Minister game may be the actual low point of licensed games, a particularly sludgy barrel to be scraping. It's a simple decision-making game that mirrors UK politics, but somehow lacks the pizazz of Ninja Baseball Bat Man.

How To Be A Complete Bastard
ZX Spectrum, Commodore 64, Amstrad CPC - 1987

Premise: Invade a party for rich folks and demonstrate your boyish skills of being a complete and utter git, by for example loosening the screws on the handles of the disabled toilet.

This wonderfully tasteless game was always for the Bart Simpsons of the world. Nothing similar has ever really been made since this game was released -- if it were, the combined uproar from Fox News and the Daily Mail would wipe out life on Earth. A classic retro game to check out if you ever get chance.

Tactics Ogre: Let Us Cling Together
SNES - 1995; PlayStation - 1997

Premise: Does it matter? It's called Tactics Ogre: Let Us Cling Together. It was a tactical RPG with your typical Japanese storyline.

At absolutely no point in this game could you hug ogres, so its title is nothing but false advertising and misleading marketing. But Tactics Ogre was a popular series, with Let Us Cling Together the seventh instalment, despite the dearth of beastly bow-chicka-wow-wow.