The 30 dumbest videogame titles ever

By Nate Lanxon on 27 March 2008, 10:21am

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Vehicles, and how they can be boring

Bus Driver
PC - 2007

Premise: You drive a 3D bus around a 3D world. Think Microsoft Flight Simulator, only with buses. Yes, that's it.

If you ever wondered what it was like to drive a bus, Bus Driver is for you. The developer -- take a bow, SCS Software -- really could've gone a little further with the title. Extreme Double-Decker maybe? You can't run prostitutes over or engage in any road rage -- you can't even smoke a rollup or encourage the schoolkids to fight. Certainly a missed opportunity.

Ship Simulator 2008
PC - 2008

Premise: Much like Bus Driver, only instead of a bus, it's a ship. A range of excruciatingly dull ships in fact, from tug boats right up to the HMS Titanic. Pick your favourite iceberg and evacuate the women and children for a cheery night in.

As if driving a bus wasn't exciting enough, Ship Simulator also exists. It's hardly got the same pull as Ultimate Psycho's Ultimate Chainsaw Meets The Local Church Choir, has it?

Big Mutha Truckers 2: Truck Me Harder
PS2, Xbox - 2005

Premise: Trucks and trucking. That's it really. You need to raise cash to get your Ma out of trouble with the law, and to do that you need to go wheelin' and dealin'. In trucks.

It's got a catchy name, full of innuendo and intrigue. Apart from the intrigue bit. The most amazing thing about it was that Big Mutha Truckers was successful enough to warrant a second innings -- but not a third outing, the mooted I Like Trucking and I Like to Truck.

Astro Fang: Super Machine
NES - 1990

Premise: Drive fast cars along a highway, on a planet far, far away...

We're all for racing games, and we're all about space. But Astro Fang: Super Machine sounds like it should be about a gigantic dog with huge teeth, floating around deep space in a machine, decapitating extra-terrestrials. Now that would be a killer title.