The zombies are coming and they're hungry. Very hungry. They'd love nothing more than to chow down on your grey matter before shuffling off to wreak more havoc on the living.
We popped over to Kidderminster, famed home of the zombie hunter, to get some training in how to defend an undead attack, courtesy of Wish.co.uk. Our expert preparation included weapon handling, room-clearing techniques and the best way to stay upright in the back of a moving van.
We distilled what we learned -- and what we've gleaned from watching hours of George A Romero movies -- into a handy how-to guide that will prove indespensible once the dead rise. Really, we're providing a necessary public service here and frankly, the fact we haven't yet received an OBE is deeply insulting.
If you happen to find yourselves trapped in your local branch of Currys, check out our guide on how to battle the horde using electrical goods. Did you know that Jeremy Kyle on a plasma TV is a perfect weapon for destroying brain tissue? Of course you did, everyone knows that.
We highly recommend you check out all our guides and start stock-piling tinned food and ammunition. Good luck out there.