VibroGym Swarovski monstrosity gives us bad vibrations

Vibrating-platform exercise machines claim to give you a workout without the work. The VibroGym Diamond VG Evolution does just that, giving you the feeling of exercising so hard that you throw up -- without the exercise. In fact, all you have to do is look at the thing and you go straight to being sick in your mouth.

It's covered in thousands of our old nemeses, Swarovski crystals. Fresh from assaulting the Olympus Pen E-P1 and a host of other gadgets, the Swarovski crystal has swarmed over the Diamond VG Evolution in an unspeakable nexus of utter pointlessness.

Yes, it's one of those vibrating plate thingies you see lycra-clad gym bunnies standing on with looks of intense concentration on their faces, because standing still is clearly a very complex process. We like to imagine they're willing the thing to shoot off across the gym like a vibrating Segway.

VibroGym claims the plates, vibrating at between 30 and 50Hz, reach muscles other exercise machines can't, as well as increasing bone density and reducing cellulite. As the plates you're standing on drop and then rise in super-quick time, muscles continually contract. Your muscles will get stronger but that's just one aspect of fitness -- aerobic exercise and a decent diet is required to actually get fit. Or so we've heard: the only exercise we get is running up bar tabs.

We asked a couple of our gym-going colleagues whether these power-plate things are any good. One said she liked it because if you have a long enough session you get a little reward at the end. She must mean a quiet sense of achievement, we guess.

Ever exercised so hard you fainted? The Diamond Evolution also recreates that feeling without the pesky actual exercise. To feel dizzy, weak and on the verge of being sick, simply glance at the price tag. It costs £43,000.