Top five items ruined by Swarovski crystals

Only one thing looks worse than Winnie the Pooh having his face sandpapered off, and that's any gadget covered in Swarovski crystals.

For some reason unbeknownst to us, Swarovski crystals seem to share certain properties with acne -- they appear to crop up on everything at some point in its life, and no-one suffering from them ever appears to be happy.

We're going to look at the five crystal-clad abominations that have stood out over the last few years, starting with one that's only just hit our screens.

Elton John's 'Starburst' iPod nano
Admirably, Elton John's latest release -- Swarovski crystal-encrusted iPod nanos -- aims to benefit victims of HIV and AIDS. Unfortunately, there has been a distinct oversight -- the rest of us poor souls have to look at the obnoxious devices.

For just £400, you can take home one of nine differently coloured 8GB iPod nanos, each of which is just a normal £110 iPod nano peppered with chunks of crystalline vomit.

Oh, yes, delightful reader, part of your money would go to the Elton John AIDS Foundation, and that's a tremendous cause. But far better would be to buy a standard iPod nano, and give £300 in cash to the charity.

Even wealthier? The 16GB model costs £450.