Tech that's just wrong

Teledildonics: Cyber sex
Cyberspace philosopher Ted Nelson once said, "Most people are fools, most authority is malignant, God does not exist, and everything is wrong." We're with him all the way on at least three out of those four, but today we're going to focus on the last point. Ted may have coined the term 'hypertext' way back in 1963, but he would know all about wrongness: he also named 'teledildonics'.

Teledildonics -- sometimes referred to as cyberdildonics -- is the collective name for sex toys controlled by a computer, or through remote control via telepresence. Sex with machines over the Internet.

Although cybersex has been the dream of interwebbers since before we even had the Interweb, it hasn't really taken off. Why? Because it's just wrong, that's why. Buttoned-up old fuddy-duddies that we are, our idea of technology in the love act is a scented candle. Introducing gadgets and gizmos to the equation is a step too far.

Hang on to your knickers for the next stage in this sexy exolution: bluedildonics. That's sex toys that are controlled via bluetooth. The Toy is a vibrator that pairs with a lady's phone and when she receives a text message from her lover... well, she gets the message, as it were.