Heard the one about Gordon Brown pooh-poohing Steve Jobs? As if we couldn't blame poor old Gordon for enough already, it's been reported he denied the Apple chief an honorary knighthood back in 2009.
Let's file this under rumour and gossip most scurrilous, but it's just too choice not to pass on. The Telegraph quotes an unnamed former MP, who claims to have nominated Jobs for an honour, because Apple has "always taken design as the key component of everything it has produced".
That peerless design is down to Blighty's own Chingford-born, Newcastle-educated Jonathan Ive. His boss looked set to go down on one knee in front of the Queen because "no other CEO has consistently shown such a commitment" to "stunning consumer products".
The nomination is said to have reached the final stages before then-Prime Minister Gordon Brown came down on it like a tonne of iPads. A spokesman for the former PM flatly denies the report, refusing to discuss the allegation that El Gordo pooh-poohed the award because Jobs refused to appear at a Labour Party conference.
There could be any number of reasons why the Jobsmeister would be refused a knighthood. Perhaps Brown really hates iTunes. Maybe he couldn't stand the thought of a world where Steve Jobs ran everything. Perhaps he's a Microsoft fanboy.
Microsoft boss and Jobs rival Bill Gates was knighted in 2005 for his charity work with the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. Citizens of other countries can be awarded honorary knighthoods, entitling them to letters after their name, but not to call themselves Sir or Dame.
Technology-related honorary knights include Texas Instruments founder Cecil H Green, former IBM boss Louis V Gerstner Jr, and Sony co-founder Akio Morita. Other examples include Steven Spielberg, George Bush Sr, Nelson Mandela, Spike Milligan, Ronald Reagan, Magnús Magnússon, Pelé, Bob Geldof and Bono. Nicolae Ceauşescu, Robert Mugabe, Benito Mussolini have all been honoured, then stripped of their awards.
Jobs has more pressing matters on his mind this week: a new iPad will launch tonight. CNET UK will be there to report all the news and first preview of the new tablet, but sadly the Jobsinator is unlikely to be there, due to ill health. Get well soon Steve -- you'll always be a knight to us.