Red Dwarf's six greatest technologies

#5: The Psi-Scan

Kryten's Psi-Scan Model 345 out-performed the 346 in eight out of nine bench tests. As he correctly pointed out, it's no wonder it was voted 'Psi-Scan of the Year, Best Budget Model' three years running. It could do almost anything -- detect nearby lifeforms, or scan the air for lethal toxins. If something needed to be done, chances are the Psi-Scan would help you out.

Real life: What it lacked was an app store. The iPhone, however, does not, and is the 21st-century equivalent of Kryten's find-stuff-around-you thingamy. Apps such as Decibel (iTunes link) will monitor the sound pressure around you to detect if you and your fellow Dwarfers are in danger of hearing loss, and AroundMe (iTunes link) will scan your current locations for local amenities, such as bars and cinemas.

The iPhone is yet to be able to detect lethal levels of radiation, for which you'll still need a Psi-Scan. Or until they're invented, a Geiger counter.

#6: Anti-matter Chopsticks

24th-century Mimosian cuisine was (or should that be 'will be'?) best enjoyed with Mimosian anti-matter chopsticks. With the recession but a distant 21st-century anecdote to the future Dwarfers, science turned its attention to the bigger issues of the day: eating food without having to touch it. 

The answer was a chopstick that manipulated the very fabric of the universe itself. It was able to move food from plate to mouth, without the wretched concern of swallowing bacteria from the tables of unusual strangers whose faces were built out of those of your friends.

Real life: Today's equivalent? The chopstick. Boring but functional, the chopstick has been successfully ferrying food to mouths for hundreds of years.

#7: Your suggestion

Reckon we missed a gadget out? Have your say in the comments below, and don't miss Red Dwarf this weekend on Dave. Fingers -- human, feline, android or holographic -- crossed that it doesn't suck.