Every country is the best at something. Here in Blighty we'd expect to be recognised as having the highest levels of self-deprecating wit or cosiest public houses per capita, but no: it's that old chestnut CCTV. Information is Beautiful reveals the party tricks and special talents of each nation, adjusted for the size of the population, in a rather wonderful infographic of International Number Ones.
If only we could hang out with the the cheery Irish, who have the best quality of life, or nip over to Costa Rica, officially the happiest place in the world. Still, could be worse: we could be scared to go in our basement in the US because of all the serial killers, wondering where our car is in Australia, or severely regretting all those cat videos in the Central African Republic.
Japan is number one for -- what else? -- robots. The highest level of Web use is South Korea and the most text messaging takes place in the Philippines. Somalia has the most actual sea-faring pirates, whereas Armenia produces the most pirate software.
The Democratic Republic of the Congo is top of the carbon-offset tree for renewable energy. Germany has the most solar panels but Laos produces the most solar energy, while Paraguay is top of the hydroelectricity hit parade.
Thumbs-up to Cuba for having the highest number of doctors, Belgium for having the highest proportion of female MPs, and Estonia for having the outstanding level of adult literacy. And, er, hearty handshakes to Togo for winning at safes, Luxembourg at tractors and China at pigs.
If you're in the mood for more infographics, Wikipedia's Lamest Edit Wars is pure gold.