Internet: The Movie!

Crave: the Motion Picture

This is it. This is the tent-pole release. Franchise starter -- merchandise? Action figures?

Rory 'Reckless' Reid (50 Cent) is a hard-livin' mav'rick tech journalist who plays by his own rules and don't take orders from nobody, much to the exasperation of his long-suffering editor Jason Jenkins (Joe Pantoliano) -- until he's partnered against his will with cool-headed Andrew Lim (Tom Cruise). To crack the biggest scoop of their careers, the bantering buddies recruit a crack team of tech experts: Ian 'Anger Management' Morris (Will Arnett), ninja sub Nick Hide (Casey Affleck), Nate 'The Kid' Lanxon (Seth Green) and, er, Rich Trenholm (Shane Richie).

Directed by Guy Ritchie -- if busy, Uwe Boll? Also starring Megan Fox as Kate Macefield and James Gandolfini as Rupert Goodwins.

To-do list for after release:

• Sit back
• Count money
• Polish Oscars
• Brainstorm Crave 2: Ten More Pages