Internet: The Movie!

Right, let's try something a little more highbrow. Here's some ideas on wowing the arthouse and Guardian readers.

The Onion

Wag the Dog/Primary Colors-style political satire, starring Jon Stewart as the everyman plucked from total obscurity to be the Republican Vice-Presidential nominee.

Coen Brothers? Also starring George Clooney and John Turturro, obviously. Oh, oh -- and Charlie Brooker as Gordon Brown.

Wikipedia: the Director's Final Cut (Uncut) Redux - Special Edition

Tagline: Sometimes, the hardest edits are to your own life
Portmanteau project featuring sequences by directors including Terence Davies, Ridley Scott and Michael Cimino. Terry Gilliam is over-budget already and he hasn't even left his house yet. Peter Greenaway is a possibility, and we're in talks with Werner Herzog. What could possibly go wrong?

Note: Keep an eye on George Lucas, if we're not careful there'll be directors' cuts and special-edition DVDs out every other week.

Apple: the iFilm

Directed by Wes Anderson: Jason Schwarzman is Mac. Philip Seymour Hoffman is PC. Mac and PC are thrown together in a life-changing road movie, travelling to Cupertino, California. Along the way they encounter various quirky figures, all played by Christopher Walken.

Climaxes with fantasy fairy-tale ending scene, featuring John Goodman as Steve Ballmer and Bill Murray as Steve Jobs/Jesus. Soundtrack by Jonathan Coulton.