Does not compute: The 10 most annoying kid + robot team-ups

By Rich Trenholm on 21 April 2008, 5:48pm

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Anakin Skywalker and C-3PO (Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace)
Let's get one thing straight: Darth Vader, intergalactic cyborg ninja overlord, never said "Yippee!" or "Wizard!" And at no point did anyone ever, ever, call him 'Annie'.

Look up the expression 'lost the plot' in the dictionary, and there's a picture of George Lucas conceiving the Star Wars prequels. Admittedly, he's sat on a pile of money the size of Finland as he does so, but surely he hasn't lost touch with reality so much that he thought it would be kinda cool if Darth Vader had a bowl haircut... oh, wait, he has.

But hey, everyone was a kid once, even the planet-killing, black-clad top boy of the dark side. What really annoyed us about the prequels -- even more than Jar Jar -- was Lucas' insistence on shoehorning every conceivable character in there, even though their presence makes absolutely no sense at all. In A New Hope, Alec Guiness' Obi-Wan Kenobi mutters "I don't remember ever owning a droid..." Apart from the one that your former pupil, the Nazi samurai cyborg whose jackboots oppress the entire galaxy, once built? The one that outstayed its welcome thirty years after the whole gay butler thing stopped being funny? Ohhh, that droid.

So annoying is this logic-defying moppett/muppet combo, we would drop to our knees and scream "Nnnnnnoooooo!" but that's the sort of horrifically hackneyed cliche only a complete moron, utterly bereft of creativity, might use. Hang on...