Top ten evil computers

By Rich Trenholm on 01 November 2007, 10:12am

11Pages

1
2
3
4
5
...
11

Ah, computers. They make our lives so easy... but we should fear them, for they may yet turn on us. We've collected together ten of the most ee-vil computers to not only achieve sentience, but decide that those pesky, squishy hu-mans just have to go. These are in no particular order, but if we've missed any machiavellian machines, let us know in the comments or discuss it on our spangly new forums. -Rich Trenholm

HAL 9000
2001: A Space Odyssey

Evil quote: "Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?"

Where else could we start? The grandaddy of computers that are mad, bad and dangerous to know, HAL 9000 (Heuristically programmed ALgorithmic computer) is the computer aboard the spaceship Discovery. It went online on 12 January 1997 in Arthur C. Clarke's novel 2001: A Space Odyssey -- 1992 in Stanley Kubrick's film version -- and was created by one Dr Chandra.

Although the Discovery is off to Jupiter to investigate the mysterious monoliths -- giant singing paperweights that somehow precipitate human evolutionary leaps -- HAL is not allowed to tell the crew. Confused by the contradiction in programming this secret causes, and threatened with disconnection -- bad idea, chaps -- HAL decides to eliminate the crew and ensure there is no-one to keep secrets from.

A logical solution, perhaps; elegant, even. There's been some debate here at Crave Towers whether HAL is evil or just confused when asked to go against its programming. Well, us Cravers can't keep a secret, but that doesn't mean we go around pushing each other into space. Maybe it was just sick of the IBM thing.

HAL gets its comeuppance in legendary style, heartwrenchingly singing Daisy Bell as lone surviving astronaut and spacebaby-to-be Dave Bowman pulls the plug.

Evil rating, using the internationally recognised Evil Laugh scale: Mwahahahahaha!