You probably think vans are pretty boring, right? That they're only good for ferrying white goods from warehouses or terrifying cyclists, but you're wrong. In the right hands, a van can be transformed into a sexy, terrifying speed machine that can out-cool anything on four wheels.
Take Project-X. This bad boy, formerly a Mercedes-Benz Vito, has been transformed by tuning company Brabus and audio experts Pioneer and is now the fastest, loudest and most tech-laden van since Hannibal Smith went to the great military prison in the sky.
First off, it's quick. Very quick. It's based on a Vito 112CDI Sport-X Dualiner, which is powered by a 3-litre turbocharged V6 diesel unit that churns out 224hp and 440Nm of torque. It's quick enough to reach 60mph in 8.3 seconds and will carry on charging until it reaches 122mph.
Secondly, it's loud -- very loud. Inside, Pioneer's installed nearly £25,000 worth of audio tech. That includes eight independent amplifiers running off four batteries, two 15-inch competition class SPL subwoofers, four 10-inch Champion Series subs and a 'state of the art' mixer.
In total, the system has a power handling capability of 30,050W, so it should cause quite a commotion. According to its makers, the van is louder than a Mercedes W02 Formula 1 car, which was officially the loudest F1 car of 2011 at 127.8 decibels. It's louder than a 200-person marching band, or thunder, or a fighter jet taking off 50 feet away using full afterburners. It's louder than Maria Sharapova, people.
If you're sensible, or at the very least you value your ear drums, you'll want to steer clear of Project-X. But if you're a crazy person, you'll be pleased to hear Mercedes and Pioneer will be taking this thing on the road for people to get a closer look and have their faces blown off. It hasn't confirmed where Project-X will be showing up, but rest assured as soon as we know, we'll be filling you in.
Do you have a similar setup in your van or have you opted for a more minimalist whips, chains and bloody sheets approach to your self-torture? Let us know in the comments or on Facebook, so we can alert the authorities.