Hold the front page, stop the presses, put down the candy and let the little boy go. Done? Good, now direct your gaze at the Renault DeZir, a new concept car that does for automotive design what Angelia Jolie does for lips -- takes it to a whole new level, friends... a whole new level.
There are plenty of subtle and not-so-subtle details to fix your gaze on, such as the LED eyebrows above the main headlights, the contrasting white interior and the part-suicide, part-gullwing passenger doors, which open in opposite directions to each other. It's bonkers, but we love it.
Incredibly, the DeZir project was led by Dutch designer Laurens
van den Acker -- the same bloke who penned such classics as the intensely
dull Ford Escape. He's obviously stepped his game up since then.
Sadly, the DeZir isn't as powerful or as capable as many of its electric rivals. Its motor only outputs 110kW (148bhp), which is only good enough for a 0-62mph sprint time of 5 seconds, and its 24kW/h batteries only allow a 100-mile range. By contrast, the Tesla Roadster Sport chucks out 288bhp, does 0-60mph in 3.6 seconds, and has a 235-mile range.
The DeZir has some clever tricks up its sleeve though, including a KERS (kinetic energy recovery system) like the one the Renault team used in its 2009 F1 car. When the DeZir decelerates, kinetic energy is recovered and stored in the battery. This energy can then be deployed by the driver to provide a temporary power boost, using a button on the steering wheel.
The DeZir will also have a sound generator that synthesises the noise of a petrol engine -- much like the Smart Brabus Electric Drive we tested last year -- in order to warn pedestrians it's approaching, and to give occupants a sense they're driving something brutally quick.
The DeZir will make its debut at the Paris Motor Show from 2 October, though obviously it'll take something of a miracle for it to appear in the real world in its current guise. Cross your fingers, toes and other spare appendages, then hit the gallery above for more drool-worthy pics.