The Ultimate Tech Celebrity Deathmatches

By Nate Lanxon on 07 March 2008, 8:30am

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Why did they fight?
Rupert Murdoch's News Corp purchased popular social networking Web site MySpace in 2005 for over $500m. Mark Zuckerberg, a young Web entrepreneur, founded the Facebook network that is taking the young and old by storm and was recently valued by Microsoft at $15bn. Can a fight between a pair separated by over 50 years amount to anything?

<fight>
Pitching a decrepit old geezer of 76 against a lithe young chap of 23 was always going to be hilarious. But the fight, such as it was, was even more funny than we'd expected. Murdoch, determined to stand up for his investment in MySpace, arrived in an outfit decorated with broken red hearts, a black wig of straight black hair, and eyeliner.

Zuckerberg, in sensible white trainers, clean jeans and a plain white t-shirt, made the first move. The young whippersnapper lunged at Murdoch, mouth open, and bit his venerable opponent on the neck. "What the hell was that?!" screamed Murdoch. "I just turned you into a werewolf," replied Zuckerberg. "You turned... sorry, what?" said the bewildered tycoon. "That's so annoying!"

Irritated and surprisingly spry, Murdoch countered with a modified paintball gun that fired glossy, rolled-up fliers with adverts for lame pop-punk bands as he ran in circles around the Facebook founder. "You'll never stop me! No matter which direction you choose to block, you'll only receive more shots! Ha ha!" Zuckerberg, shaking with rage, wrenched a gargantuan plastic hand he'd hidden behind the ring and smashed Murdoch to the ground with its rock-hard finger. "You've just been Superpoked, old man," he screamed as the MySpace investor stumbled to the floor.

"But...," he panted, "my method was so effective, so direct, so... efficient." Zuckerberg knelt beside his fallen enemy. "Your time is over. Count your losses, and leave this ring while you still can. Do you have any final requests?" he asked. "Y... yes. I can... has... cheezburger?" Zuckerberg looked down and smiled, magnanimous in his triumph. "Yes, friend. We can all has cheezburger."
</fight>