The Ultimate Tech Celebrity Deathmatches
Dave Winer pioneered the creation of blogs and RSS syndication. A history of entrepreneurship behind him, Jason Calacanis has recently founded Mahalo, a people-powered search engine. Since they're not exactly competitors, we lied to them and told them the other one had been calling them names and making crude 'your mom' jokes.
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Despite betting heavily on his own success, Calacanis decided to use only one arm. The other was dedicated to sending blow-by-blow updates of the fight to Twitter from his phone. The starting bell rang and Winer threw the first punch -- a powerful jab to the lower jaw. "You son of a...," yelled Calacanis, surprised. "I'm not interested in having someone beat me like this!"
The entire fight was something of a blur, a maelstrom of wit and insult, each combatant trying to better the other's verbal slurs.
The match got interesting when Calacanis enlisted the help of the top brawlers in the audience. "I'll pay you $1,000 a month to fight all my battles," he offered, "starting right now." The offer sparked an outburst of rage from Winer supporters. "Deathmatch spam, Deathmatch spam!" they yelled from their stand.
In the final minute, with Calacanis doubled over in agony from a brutal knee to the groin from Winer, his offer payed off -- a dozen battle-hardened veterans descended on the ring and carried the irate Winer from his hitherto victorious position and into a rubbish bin outside the stadium.
The contenders spent the following weeks further insulting each other on their blogs. The winner is yet to be determined.
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